Monday, 16 July 2012

A Hoe? Isn’t That A Garden Tool?

Howdy partners, welcome to another edition of my infamous blogs. Gosh I haven't blogged in a while. I Would like to say thank you to all those who have bought my book 'Lying Fully Clothed', I'm humbled at the amount of books that I have sold.

Anyway, enough of the preamble and foreplay, lets get stuck in, no coil.

A Hoe? Isn't That A Garden Tool?

Hey, why you keep calling women hoe? Why you call them my name?

In one breath many a man will call a woman stoosh if she is conservative with sex and in the same breath call her loose if she is liberal. Do you want the wagina or not? I guess it’s the same sexist ideologies which stem from the root of patriarchy that has men calling women hoes for wanting to copulate. I guess it all stems back to the primitive times when women were property, where a woman who was a virgin was seen as an asset. Women who held onto their chastity were often sold or in times of war held captive as booty. Why is it that women were held to being virgins in those times but men weren’t? What is the bride price all about? Why in so many cultures a man must pay a dowry if he wants to marry a man’s daughter? Was marriage all about exchange of woman for property? Was it all about investment and family alliance?

"I'll give 50 for her" "Sold, no refunds though bro."

So you and Girl A (Jane) have been talking on the phone for a week, meet up, go for a meal in Nandoes, you bring a cup with you to save money on the bottomless drink (recession and all that), you go to Mc d’s for milkshakes and then you drop her home. You meet up few days later, get your Picasso on and draw her to your house. You put on that same DVD you always watch when a lady comes around. You have a bit of banter, you give each other puppy eyes and then you move her thongs to the side and begin indulging in some coitus...

You and Girl B (Margaret) have been talking for 8 weeks, you’ve met up fourteen times and on the fifteenth occasion she finally lets Sheba out the bag. What makes you think that she is more credible a woman than Jane? What if Margaret just didn’t rate you? What’s to say if Margaret was getting the yam from Kunle? Do you not rate yourself as a man? If so, why would a woman not want to sleep with you? Are they not sexual creatures? Or is it only men who desire sex?

“She slept with me ‘too soon’”, whatever too soon means... Are you under the assumption that she has slept with everyman in that same space of time? And for you guys who have to wait months on end for sex and use that cooking oil, are you also under the impression that she has made every other man wait? Do you think if a woman bumped into Tyson Beckford, that she wouldn’t trip, slip, become clumsy, drop her draws on the floor and somehow find his tongue on her clit? 

What if you showed her something different? What if the ambience and setting you created was adverse to what every other douche bag had shown her? Can you rate yourself a piece? Do you think that same woman that fell for you quickly, fell for every other guy in the same time frame?

If women are hoes, then surely shouldn’t men be held to this same standard? Or is this label exclusively for women? Are we not the same men making these women hoes? Or are they sleeping with themselves? Is a good girl just a bad girl who hasn’t been caught?

I guess we’re living in a world where people are single minded and plagued with double standards. However ladies, if you intend to do it like a dude, please don’t complain when your price tag drops, word to Jessie J.

All Jokes aside, doesn't Jessie J slyly look like Andy Carrol?

Most men will forever call a woman who is liberal with sex, loose and then call her frigid if she is conservative... What is it that men actually want? Do they like the idea and concept which they hold women to in theory but not in practice? Do they meet the same criteria they hold women to?

I’m quite sure many a man doesn’t want to shack up with a woman who has been with every Tom, Kunle, Ranjit and Segun. And even as a woman surely it must be awkward waltzing into City Love and seeing a bag of man you’ve done the breaststroke with. I’ve stroked a few cats in my life... Only 23 though. And I don’t do one night stands, I’m the caring type, I always go back, customer service and all that.

Some will ask, what’s the appropriate amount of men a woman is allowed to have slept with if she’s 26? Now most men would more than likely say ten is the cut off point... Whereas most men who are on their job who are 26+ more than likely have slept with a hundred plus. I hear you screaming, a hundred plus? Well let me break down a little maths to you.

Let’s say the average dude started having sex at 16 (in this day and age I would say 14, I work with a pupil referral unit and girls as young as thirteen have condoms in their purse), starts going to under 18 raves, if he’s fly like a zipper he may acquire the humble sum of 3 numbers a month. Now out of those three, let’s say one is acting like Florence nightingale, the other gives him the wrong number but the third he manages to tell her he loves her and he gives her the worst two minutes of her life. Now that’s an average of one girl a month, there are twelve months in a year, which would mean on average he sleeps with twelve women a year, multiplied by how many years he’s been having sex for. Let’s say he is twenty six, that would be 12x10 (assuming he started having sex the age of 16) which brings us to the healthy number of 120. Yes he may have been in a relationship in this time but this is just a summation. Now this same guy who has slept with 120 women will more than likely turn his nose up against a woman who has slept with 15 men. That’s just life I guess. Might I add, I don’t fall into this category, I’ve only slept with 22 women.

Should women be held to the same standard as men? Should women be allowed to enjoy men’s rights? Is disparity in rights between men and women a good thing?

Is gender a social construct? I wonder.

Until us men and women accost patriarchy and these archaic gender roles and ideologies we will forever have unrealistic expectations.

So what is a hoe? I will leave that for you decide. However, as a woman you can’t play on the naivety card anymore, you’re not 16. And men can we really call women hoes if we’re not honest with them when it comes to what we want? Can we offer them the world and then give them an atlas once we’ve got the sex and then call them hoes?

Girl A: 26 slept with 4 men, farks Darren on the second date.

Girl B: 26 slept with 15 men, farks Darren on the 15th date.

Who would you say was the ‘loose goose’? Who should he go for?

Don't forget 'Kg Tha Comedian' and myself have our comedy show 25.07.12  'Its Just Raw' @ Apt Bar click the link for more info >>> 

You can also buy my book 'Lying Fully Clothed' from my website >>

Tuesday, 3 July 2012


Hey, heteros and Bi's... Guys why are you reading this? Remove your eyes right this minute, you unwashed goats. I guess curiosity kills the cat, NO Rspca.

Where do I start? What a long day it was. I was at home, took off my bra as most of us ladies do after a long days work, what a relief. I took my hair out of its bun and ran my fingers through it, it felt so orgasmic. My boss had pissed me off that day as usual with his chauvinistic remarks, funny thing is he’s got a midget dick, I guess he over compensates for the areas in which he’s lacking. I know you’re thinking how do I know whether he’s packing or not? Well hey, it was one wet morning, he called me into his office. As I entered. Hold on wait, can I have your word that what you read in this blog stays here? Can I? In fact I’ll come to this at a later stage.

So as I was running my fingers through my hair my phone rang, I looked at the screen and it was Rob, My mind automatically went back to last week, I could still feel him in my stomach. When I went to work the following day my colleagues said I had a spring in my step, just reminiscing how it felt having his lips on my other lips, the way I quivered, had my body shaking like a misfiring engine. Just thinking about it is making my cat dribble. Sorry, didn’t mean to digress. I let it ring for a few seconds and timed it just as it was going to enter voicemail. “Hi babe”, to which he replied in his deep sensual tone, “Hi ribbon”. That’s his nickname for me, when we first had sex I tied him up with some ribbons and since then, that’s what he’s called me. I replied “What are you doing tonight?” to which he said “I’m coming to fill you up”. Now my man was coming to stay at mine. Don’t you dare try and judge me; he cheated on me a year ago and guess what? He can’t fuck. He proper trapped me. When we met each other he told me he didn’t want to have sex with me just yet, so I got to know him, fell in love and then he revealed his second belly button, I didn’t know what to do or say. I assumed the sex would get better but it never, so here I am and to make things worse, yes you’ve guessed he's my boss.

So I told Rob that I would come to his. I jumped in the shower, washed the long day off me and dried myself. I went into my draw, put on my Vickie secrets; Kurt Geiger’s and grabbed my Mack. I’d never done this before; well I had, the day I caught my man cheating. I was on the way to his to surprise him on his birthday. I was meant to finish work late but I thought I’d surprise him as I had finished early, silly me, I turned up to his.

Please bear with me; I well up every time I think of that night.  I just can’t believe he had the audacity to cheat with a penis his size. Rumour is his ex used to call him tampon man because whenever they had sex she couldn’t feel anything.  I will come back to Marvin and his cheating ways at a later stage.

So I left my house in nothing but my thong, heels and Mack. The breeze felt good. Ladies if you’ve never gone to a man’s house with nothing but a Mack on, what are you waiting for? I jumped in Marvin’s car and made my way to Robs. As I drove, I was getting wet, just thinking of him sliding in and out of me, him grabbing my hair and spanking my ass. He loves the way I ride him. He loves it when I sit down slowly on his dick and then come up fast, sit down slow and then come up hard. I love the way he farks me, the way he takes charge and takes control. I had Janet Jacksons ‘Anytime Anyplace’ playing in the car which wasn’t helping much as that was the song in which I came when he kissed that special cut of mine.

Knock knock, as he opened the door I pushed him against the wall like he was an ic3 that had just been spotted by a set of cops. I dropped to my knees and used my teeth to undo his belt; I could feel the bulge in his jeans, I began to breathe deep. I slowly pulled his boxers down and used my tongue to massage his head I then put his semi hard dick in my mouth, I could feel it growing in my mouth, I love that feeling. He began to start breathing deep as I stared in his eyes from where I was. The kitty began dribbling; I could feel it dripping down my inner thigh. Now his dick was hard, freezer meat hard. I moved closer to him, I wanted to feel him in my throat, I love that gagging feeling. I could taste the pre cum in my mouth. His leg started shaking, I could feel he was going to erupt, he told me to stop. He picked me up, walked me through his corridor and threw me on his bed. 

He has satin sheets; he had left the window open so you can imagine how cold they felt. He violently undone my buttons and threw my Mack on the floor. He went into the draw, took out his hand cuffs and tied me to his metal framed head board. At this point I was soaking wet, dripping, just thinking about what he was about to do to me. He started kissing on my neck, I started shaking, and my toes clenched into a fist as his tongue ran its way in between my breast and made his way to my naval. He then put his fingers inside my warm wet pussy, took them out and put them in his mouth as he looked me in my eyes and said “I want to taste you on my tongue”. I could feel the chakras lighting up. I could feel my body tensing up. He then used his tongue to lick my clit. I completely froze up, began to scream. I couldn't take anymore. I could feel my walls begin to involuntarily contract. He then...

And that's all folks, don't be getting any ideas. I don't go down only the mother of my kids will get the strongBOW and I cant last more than 3 minutes. Yes you read right 3 minutes. The average man ejaculates in 4 mins, so if you're man reading this, live your life dawg. Don't worry ladies the foreplay is lengthy, plus I will fling you in numerous positions to confuse you. Why do you think I stopped having sex to music? I used to come before the track two would start. 

Below is an excerpt from my book 'Lying Fully Clothed'... Check out my website 

And dont forget #HisTypeHerMatch 10.07.12 @ Guanabara . A networking night for young professionals. Free shots of Patron and Ciroc all night. Hosted By KgThaComedian. For more info 07534675301 or you can @ me @dearrobtv.


Wednesday, 28 December 2011

"She's Pretty For A Darkskin Girl" Pardon?

Heya and welcome to another one of my infamous blogs. Hope I meet you all in good health? Well hey, let’s get tucked in.

How many times have we heard this phrase "She's pretty for a dark skin girl"? As if to say that G-d was bias when creating women, like what may be seen as unattractive is exclusive to people of a certain shade, utter poppycock of the highest order.

Beauty is you, yes you that is reading this post, irrespective of what complexion you may be. You are cynosure, you are the prototype, don't believe me? Go and ask Andre 3000. There are too many different phenotypes in this big wide world which consists of over 6 billion people for there to be one standard of beauty. Please wash your eyes and remove the European contact lens that the media have fixed to it. You are stuck with you for while; it might help to appreciate you. You are your own insecurities. 

Look at the decepticon. Walking fraud, they should call her Nigeria.

Why would you want to keep up with the likes of Kim KarDasherinabin? Does she even know who you are? I beg, kindly slap yourself. Are you not aware what the wonders of Photoshop and plastic surgery can do? You can't try and keep up with a lie. You're just going to end up looking like Lil Kim... A confused question, which is exactly what she looks like.

Jesus, Buddha, Krishna one of you please take the wheel and take control.

You've got some white women tanning, looking like a walking talking orange and then you've got some black women bleaching. Why would you damage the layer of protection (melanin) that you were giving to protect you against the harmful rays of the sun? Why would you damage the thing that converts the sun rays into energy? Melanin is what chlorophyll is to a plant. There are women out there who don't bleach put they indulge in Mac post code wars. They know their skin tone is NW 55 but they're using NW 25. Their face is now Halle while their neck looks Snipes. 

Some have been so brainwashed that they've created societies and sororities that ostracize dark skin females. Certain sets of people have created stupid groups and teams such as #TeamLightSkin and #TeamDarkSkin, what nonsensical nonsense? You this stupid Goat, you this senseless Lizard. Get the fark out of here with your prejudice bull crap. It seems like a lot of people suffer from post traumatic slavery syndrome.

The promoter of this rave should be welcomed with a festival of slaps, asinine nincompoop.

Your complexion makes you no better than the next individual. Just slap yourself, please and make sure you slap your lips too for spewing such nonsensical nonsense . I hear women complain about some men loving off light skin women but then in the same breath most of them will say “I just love dark skin men, I could never be with a light skin dude”.  You this hypocritical Giraffe, so you complain about being left out by some and then you go and do the same. However, I understand why this is, life in the Diaspora is heart wrenching. The globalisation of the European woman's beauty is all over the world and has left its mark, no Skids. The need for lighter skin is a must for many women of African descent and Asian descent. All women want to be beautiful but the only problem with this, is that beauty through the medias eyes is tantamount to 'whiteness'. The portrayal of lighter skin women in the media and dark skin men subconsciously paint the premise that dark skin is only suited well on men. All this coloristic division causes further segregation within the black community as well as the Asian community. If you weren't aware many Asians have this same issue.

If you are a woman who is from an Indigenous lineage you cannot be looking to the media to tell you that you are beautiful, the same media which is run by Zionist, the same Zionist who perpetuated the curse of ham story which said that people of dark skin were born to be slaves. Happiness comes from within, if you are looking to find it in someone or something else you will be pleasantly embarrassed. It's funny how the same things that Sara Baartman was ridiculed for is what so many Caucasians are paying thousands for today.

I understand the struggles that black women go through. Not only do they face the issues of being a woman, they also face the struggles of being black. I hear some men say they are done with black women, you can't write off a whole set off people because of the bad ones you have allowed into your life. And might I add, a bish can come in any shade, not just black. The saddest thing is that black women are generally raised to be tough by their mothers and this inadvertently can make some of them difficult to deal with. Remember bitter mums do not raise sweethearts. The struggle a black woman goes through in the western world is different to what every other women goes through. As a black man, one must understand and empathise with black women with the battles they face living in the Diaspora.

As stressed earlier, you can't in one breath complain about men showing a disdain for dark-skin women and then in the same breath show an abhorrence towards light-skin men. I have heard a myriad of women say "I could never date a light'skin man, euurghh, yuck, puke, vomit". It is asinine to scream from the hilltops about being ostracised and then ostracise another group of people yourselves.

How do you expect the lighter hue of man to feel knowing that he too is being overlooked? As Nubain's we are diverse, we come on all different shades, lets appreciate and be auspicious to this.

If you don't know who Sara Baartman is, click the video.

Have You And Your Face Had An Argument, As To Why You Always Have To Make Up?

"Women are insecure because of men" No, most women are insecure because they are puppets to the media and consumerism. I have heard women say countless times that when they get dressed up, they do so for themselves, so how can you then blame your insecurities on men? Truth be told most of you women dress up to outdo yourselves (got this from a source which I can’t disclose, inside information). Please don’t get me wrong, men may play a part in this but the onus is on you, you have the power of choice. For everyman who doesn’t like you, there will be plenty of other men who do; most women are not short of admirers, no Sisqo. Yeah some men love a woman with an ass that looks like its holding her hostage, some men love women who have airbags for breasts. Some women don't like short men, we all have our own preferences. 

There is nothing wrong with wearing makeup but there is a problem when you can’t leave your house without it. That is when there is an issue. As stated earlier, you are your own insecurities. Learn to love you, if you haven't noticed you are stuck with you for a while.  I understand the pressures you go through as a woman constantly being harassed by the media with a million and one products, but it is weak minds that fall subject to the tricks and games that consumerism feeds.

If you actually went and asked men, you'd be surprised that most of us abhor make up, we detest all the attachments that some of you drown your faces in. Why would you want to turn your face into the subways of Harlem and begin to graffiti on it? Most of us simply put up with it. I have heard some women say "but oh so many of you like Nicki Minaj, Rhianna and Beyonce". Ermm we know that when they are on set that they are drowned in makeup, when on set if any of you have been on TV you will know that it is mandate that one must wear makeup. Most of us know this, so please don't use this as your soap box, many thanks amen cheers. Oh and might I add all three of them have had plastic surgery, so they clearly aren't that happy with themselves.

No matter how much makeup you wear, you eyes and body language can’t mask your insecurities and lack of confidence in yourself that you might have.

The same celebrities that so many of you dream to look like don’t look the same as they do on TV. I have gone to award shows, clubs and seen some of these women, they look totally different, please understand and grasp this. Most men are not pleased by the fake. Come as you are, so we can accept you for you.

Learn to love you, you are cynosure, there is only one you. The same things you dislike and like about you, are the same things that make you unique. 

There are things I don’t particularly like about myself but the more you feed a leech, the bigger the sucker it becomes. Don’t allow the things you were born with to become a parasite and drain your confidence out of you.

It is said that the average British woman spends 133k over her lifetime on beauty, the media are having a field day with you. .

Pretty, pretty please, Don't you ever, ever feel, Like your less than, Fuckin' perfectPretty, pretty please, If you ever, ever feel, Like your nothing, You're fuckin' perfect to me".

If you're looking for a man to complete you, you've missed the whole point.

If you liked what you read, you can buy book 'Lying Fully Clothed: Exposing The Naked Truth About Men' from my website>>>> Thank you.

Tuesday, 29 November 2011

I Love Her But Miss Cege Nation Doesn't.

Hey Chaps and Chappetes... I deem this to be an apt time to bring out a blog on inter-racial dating after watching My Tram Experience. One thing that amazed me was the shock, is racism a new concept? Was it just invented 2 weeks ago? Did one think because the general populace may be covertly racist that it doesn't exist? I beg go and face the wall. The funniest thing is that I've heard black folk complain about the sudden influx of eastern Europeans, even when the Kosovans/Albanians stormed through in the late 90's I heard numerous black folk complaining. I beg fall off your low donkeys. Don’t let that red book of yours sweet you. Indifference isn't going anywhere. Yeah what she said was distasteful but this should be of no shock. Might I add, not all white people are racist, however, I believe all humans being have a modus operandi to be prejudice.

I Love Her But Miss Cege Nation Doesn't.

Let me first start off by saying that there is no pure race, during the 900k + years that homo-sapiens have been on Earth the six evolutionary colours have mixed. All human beings are technically 'mixed race' if the construct is applied in its purest sense.

Miscegenation is the interbreeding of people considered to be of different racial types, as in someone of Negroid phenotype having a child with someone of Caucasoid phenotype or someone of Mongoloid phenotype having a child with someone of Negroid phentoype, etc. Let me also state that even these phenotypes that we have were put in place by the West. Not all black people are black and not all white people are white as defined by the social construct put in place by the elite to implement their racial hierarchical structure.

Now up until 1967 there were laws put in place, known as anti miscegenation laws. These laws enforced racial segregation at a level of marriage or intimate relationships. People found to be doing so were criminalised. Prior to slavery there was no colour caste system, one wasn't referred to by colour. Black or white isn't a country, nor does it describe a culture or set of people. It is asinine to bunch a set of people as homogenous by colour. It is nonsensical nonsense dressed in a tuxedo and bow tie.

The colour system was simply put in place to separate blacks from whites simple as that. Ever wondered why Asian people aren't referred to as brown people or Chinese people referred to as yellow. You only really have black and white. What is white? I dare you call a Sicilian person white and watch the response you get. You can be a preacher; it won’t stop that person throwing a Pasta in your retina.

The whole interbreeding thing started when they wanted to make what they considered at that time to be a super slave. The term for this super slave was mulatto. That was the mixing of a black person and a white person. For those who are not aware the Irish were slaves during the 1600's. King James II and Charles I enslaved the Irish, Oliver Cromwell then furthered this practice. From 1641 to 1652 over 500k Irish people were killed by the English and another 300k was sold as slaves. And these slaves were sent to the new world. During the 1650's, 1000's of Irish people were sent to Virginia, Barbados and New England. Listen to how Baijans pronounce the number 3 and how many Irish people pronounce the number 3.

It was at this point that African slaves and Irish slaves were forced to sleep with each other to try and make this super slave. However legislation was put in place in 1681 forbidding the two breeding as it interfered with profits of large slave transport companies. I'm sure you've heard the phrase 'No Dogs, No Blacks, No Irish'. Now you know where it stems from.

"But baybay, you Irish, we were both slaves, man a long distance stulla".

That Awkward Moment When You're At The Family BBQ And Your White Partner Walks In Whilst Amistad Is On.

*Chortles*... Just imagine it, you're at the family BBQ and your white partner walks in while Kunte Kentae is getting some nice strokes from Massa.

First of all I will say, do you. If you want to date outside of your race, feel free. Love should have no boundaries. However I don't believe in this colour blind ideology. How can one be colour blind?

If you choose to solely date outside of your race, I will believe that your head is not correct. I often hear some white women say that they are not attracted to white men ¬_¬. *Scratches head*. I just think issues. I often hear some black men say they’re done with black girls. You can’t write off a whole set of people based on the bad ones that you have allowed into your life. A bish can come in any shade, not just black.

Slavery/Racial Genocide/history plays a huge part in why so many people are opposed to inter-racial dating. I am not going to try and be politically correct. I don't gots time. In saying that, it seems like its only black people that favour this ideology of inter-racial dating out of the oppressed ethnic 'minorities'. The Jews don’t, the Chinese don't, the Asians, don’t. Could this be one of the reasons why they have great cultural stability and strength in their family groups? Hmm, I wonder.

I don’t deem it ignorant to not want to date other races. You may be black and have a preference to dating someone who is of African ancestry because the chances that someone who wasn’t would be able to have the same political views as you when it comes to the global racial power structure, racism, imperialism, plus cultural aspects etc, is slim to none, ask Annie Rexic. I refuse to deal with someone with rose-coloured glasses on when it comes to the racial caste system, colourism, & geo-politics. Someone who wouldn't be aware of, let alone comprehend skin colour privilege etc, would drive me barmy and I surely wouldn't be comfortable raising children with someone who can remain in denial about such things because they don't directly experience them.

Now this is not to say that every person of African ancestry (this includes West Indians, your ancestors were from Africa before they were dragged to the West Indies) will fall into the criteria of what you may be looking for if you are black. I am more concerned about how cultured a woman is before everything. There are many black women/men who have been washed in Daz. 

Oh Hi Brian, what lovely eyes you have?

The Family is the avenue through which the river of culture and knowledge flows from one generation to another. 

Another huge problem is this one drop rule, this rule that ostracises people who are mixed race, as in someone who has one white parent and one black parent. Now black people are very welcoming of other ethnics in general, unfortunately white people generally aren't. When is the last time you've heard a white person refer to a mixed race person as white? It's OK I can wait. I'm still waiting, I haven't got all day. Why is it that Obama is referred to as black and not white? Erm, hello, how can you just disregard the white part of his lineage? The fact is that most white people in general do not want to accept a mixed race person as white, hence the ‘one drop rule’.

Out of all the mixes it seems like the black and white mix seems to have the biggest issues attached to it. As stated this stems from 500 years of slavery. Might I add Europeans were not the only ones involved in slavery, the Arabs and Jews were the ones who got the chain and ball rolling. One cannot be ignorant to this fact. This is one of the reasons I am on the fence when it comes to having offspring with someone who is not of my racial phenotype.

Before settling down with someone from a different race to yours it is imperative to make sure that the family you are entering are accommodating. Yes he/she may want to settle down with you but if their family are covertly bigots, you're just inviting wahala into your life. The funniest thing is that even if we want to push race aside, so many of our parents/grandparents are xenophobic. I.e. I have come across Africans who have a problem with their child dating a West Indian. I have also come across West Indians who have a problem with dating Africans. I have come across some English people who are opposed to their children dating someone who is Scottish. What kind foolishness be this? When I hear such poppycock I want to brandish a wet tilapia and use it to slap their lips. 

A lot of people are in inter-racial relationships and are getting on just fine, it depends what each other’s views on life are, how they intend to raise their kids and whether culture is important to them or not. My mum has been married to a Scottish man for the past ten years and they get on like Precious in a pie eating contest.

If you’re looking for a man to complete you, you've missed the whole point.

Sunday, 20 November 2011

Sex Is Just Sex, If You Haven't Metaphysically With The Chakras.

Howdy partners... How art thou doing? You may need to get your dictionary for this post as I will be indulging in a bit of sesqiupedalianism. I can see some of you are flummoxed as it is, “Sesqui what?” Any way let’s get the knife and fork out and get tucked in.

Sex Is Just Sex, If You Haven't Met-Her-Physically With The Chakras.

If Sex is Natural, why the restrictions? Why Can’t I Just Slip It In?

First thing I would like to state is that we are spiritual beings having a human experience.

The sex urge is sufficient enough to ensure that homo-sapiens come together to further the reproduction of mankind; it is an innate propensity that a man will want to insert his coin into your slot machine. This modus operandi worked way before man experienced what was later called Eros love. No human impulse or emotion unbridled and overindulged can produce so much harm and sorrow as the powerful sex urge. Go and ask any man who has problems with his bm, no series.

The account of the evolution of marriage is merely the history of sex control through the force of social, religious, and civil restrictions. Nature hardly recognises individuals; it is ignorant of so-called morals; it is only and exclusively interested in the reproduction of the species. Nature beseechingly insists on reproduction but indifferently leaves the momentous problems to be solved by society, thus erecting an ever-present and major problem for evolutionary mankind. This social conflict consists in the unending fight between basic instincts and evolving ethics. Among the primitive people there was little or no regulation of the relations of the sexes. Because of this sex license, prostitution was nonexistent. It’s the taboo surrounding sex that led to prostitution. When sex was performed without any restrictions sex would have no reason to have been sold as one could get it freely. Think about it.

Very good book, I implore you to give it a read.

Now before I go into the spiritual elements of sex, I would just like to say that sex jealousy is not innate, it is a product of the mores. Primitive man was not jealous of his wife; he was merely guarding his investment. The reason women were held to stricter sex regulations was because her marriage infidelity involved descent and inheritance. If a woman was to sleep about in those days it would be near enough impossible to figure out whom the father was. Oh might I add stats show that approximately 1 in 25 men are fathering kids under the pretence that the child is theirs when in fact the child belongs to another fool. If a woman ever did this to me, it would take Krishna, Mohammed, Buddha, Jesus and Horus to stop me from tearing off her eye brow. Oh the pain, oh the agony.

So You Slept With Her But Have You More Than Met-Her-Physically?

Sex and specifically the orgasm, is more than something that just feels good and allows procreation. Sex when indulged by two people who can interact on an intellectual and spiritual basis is deep and not something to be taken lightly whether you’re knocking boots with someone called Annie Rexic. 

Sex when performed by two enlightened individuals can lead them into a higher consciousness and into worlds mentally beyond this plane. From a metaphysical stand point there are many functions of sex such as the release of dysfunctional energy within the body, there is also the function that opens the higher chakras, and when done with the right person allows the beginning of enlightenment.

When two people are indulging in sexual intercourse energies and vibrations are released which helps bring strength and vitality. There are people who you may have sex with and feel no connection and there are people you will have sex with and become hooked like a Jewish Nose.

In ancient Egypt it was believed that the orgasm was the key to life and was intimately connected with the chakra system. A chakra is an energy whirlpool linked to the entire human energy field, and the Universal Heart Chakra is the fifth of thirteen chakras. (There is also a system of eight chakras; in that system, the heart chakra is number four.) The Egyptian system understood that the orgasm was intimately connected to this fifth or Universal Heart Chakra.

Most people are ignorant to what happens to their sexual energy after they have an orgasm. Typically, the energy moves up the spine and out the top of the head directly into the eighth or thirteenth chakra (same chakra, different system). In a few rare cases, the sexual energy is released down the spine into the hidden centre below the feet, the point opposite the one above the head. In any case, the sexual energy called prana in Hinduism is debauched and lost. It is tantamount to discharging a battery into a ground wire. It is no longer in the battery and so it is gone forever, I hope that makes a bit of sense. This is what all the world's Tantric systems that I am aware of believe, that orgasms bring one a little closer to death since a person loses his or her life-force energy in the orgasm and is made weaker. But the Egyptians found long ago that it doesn’t have to be this way. This energy doesn’t have to be lost. Lads don’t you just like a girl whose head is banging, no migraine. That head that makes your toes clench like a fist.

The Egyptians believed that orgasm is healthy and necessary but that the sexual energy currents must be controlled in a deeply esoteric procedure that is unlike any other system. They said that if this energy is controlled, the human orgasm becomes a source of infinite pranic energy that is not lost. They believe that the entire Mer-Ka-Ba or light body (the field of energy surrounding and interpenetrating the body) benefits from this sexual discharge. They even believe that under the right conditions the orgasm will directly lead to eternal life, and that the ankh is the key.

What is the ankh and what in the name of Kunle Adepoju has it got to do with sexual energy? 

It is complex to explain, but I will try and simplify. First the ankh itself is a shape that looks like the figure below.
 The early catholic church omitted the loop so that they could disconnect themselves from the Egyptian religion, since they were breaking away from tradition.

In order to perceive and understand what took thousands of years for the Egyptians to grasp, we will begin with the fifth, Universal Heart Chakra. This lower heart chakra, the chakra of Unconditional Universal Love, is the first place where the energy completes itself. Each chakra has a ''direction'' allied with it, as the life-force energy rotates its way up the body in a pattern similar to the DNA molecule. In the lower heart chakra, the fifth place of a thirteen chakra system, the energy is facing the same direction as it began, and thus the circle is complete.

The orgasm when having sex is the one thing that makes sex different to every other sexual encounter, it is this act that brings the two of you closer together. It is this that makes one hooked to the hood. There are people you may sleep with and feel no connection whatsoever and there are people you will sleep with and the moment Mr Man enters her princess purse the connection is made.

When one can orgasm and the Chakras are released sex becomes a whole different ball game, no tea bagging (The Chakras is each of the centers of the spiritual power in the human body). It becomes something totally different. When a man can hit the base of your wall, get in so deep that you call him Sir Vixs that connection is made. Sex can be a dangerous game when conducted with someone who knows what he is doing. When he knows how to hit those walls and send those vibrations through your spine/ankh, he transcends your mind spiritually and subconsciously a connection is made. 

It is not a fluke that you can’t seem to get a man out of your head. Sex is deep when performed with a man who can swim good inside your ocean, ask Frank, that nova-cane can put you in a trance. It is said that when two people have sex that they become one, I believe this to be true to an extent. When the two of you can elevate each other to that place, your energies become one, they sure do. Sex is not just sex when orgasms are involved. The Egyptians knew about this year’s back hence ankhing associated with the human orgasm.

Good dick can do what bad dick can’t do... Good dick can text you out of your sleep, good dick will leave you putting the key under the mat just anticipating him saying he may be coming to kill the cat, no Rspca. Good dick will leave kitty throbbing days later, good dick will give you the shivers at the sound of his name.

The Egyptians had instructions on how to heighten the orgasm so that energy isn’t lost but actually is used to recharge one’s body.

1)   The moment you feel the sexual energy rise up your spine, take a deep breath and then hold your breath.
2)   Allow the sexual energy of the orgasm to come up your spine, whilst your breath is held the energy will curve around involuntarily around your body and instead of the energy being lost will come back to where it started.
3)   As it comes back to the fifth chakra where it originally started it will come to a sharp point. When it approaches the fifth chakra from the front of the body, at times there will be a tremendous jolt as it reconnects with this chakra again.
4)   The sexual energy by now would have reconnected with its source, the fifth chakra. You can now take in the full breath but exhale very very slowly. The sexual energy will continue around the ankh channel as long as you’re exhaling.

I’ve tried to break this down as simply as possible. The key when orgasming is to hold your breath as you’re climaxing and then to breathe out slowly this will allow the energy to continue and not die.

It was this unearthing of the secret tube that encouraged the Ancient Egyptians belief that eternal life was intimately connected to this particular energy-flow.

Enjoy sex, sex is liberating when done under the right conditions. Clarity is important when having sex so that both parties know what they are getting themselves into beforehand. There are many forms of contraception on the market so there are no excuses for unwanted babies. It’s a shame that the elite invented STD’s to stifle reproduction. The taboos surrounding sex need not be so in this day and age. Sex is one thing that two people can do to elevate and release tension. There are times I have had sex and it has actually cleared my mind and released me of all anxiety. 

As stated, clarity is important. If as a man you know you don’t want to have that connection with a woman, as crazy as this sounds don’t give her the dick. If you know she is going to fall for you and you don’t have a parachute for her, give it a miss. You don’t need to make that connection spiritually, especially if you know you can take her to higher heights. If you’re going to lie to a girl to get sex, just know that her spirit will haunt you. There are certain girls I have slept with in my past that I regret as it just seemed the moment I penetrated bad luck seeped into my life. With everything in life when it is used in the right manner it can be pleasurable. Remember knives don’t kill people, people do.

If you’re looking for a man to complete you, you’ve missed the whole point.

Saturday, 12 November 2011

Has Mr Luke Warm Got You Feeling Like Ms Justine Case?

Howdy partners, hope to meet you all in good health. Remember you are as limitless as your creator. 

Welcome to another edition of my blogs. The question is...

Has Mr Luke-Warm Got You Feeling Like Ms Justine Case?

So when the two of you met he was on fire like NBA JAM, he wasn’t a fan of Sean Paul but he kept the fire blazing but now he has turned into Mr Luke-Warm and now you’re thinking what the Raaas Kwame?

Here is one of the problems I have noticed: a lot of you ladies meet a guy and from the get go you say to yourself "This man is going to be my man, it is by force. It must happen, whether I have to cut some strands off his hair and go and meet Papa Legba, it will happen." Now subconsciously this unfortunately leaves some of you hanging around like the JME on Joseph's neck. Boy, you better know how to circumvent these situations. 

Let me show you how......

Why Does Mr Luke Warm Put Ms Justine Case On Layaway?

Boy meets girl, takes her number, she’s feeling the kid, no Gary Glitter. They go on a few dates, exchange salivary amylase, he comes round, kills the cat, No RSPCA. Then you reach stalemate.  He’s got you feeling like you’ve hit that glass ceiling, you can see what the potential is with the two of you but he just won’t give you access to it. It’s safe to say he won’t let you crack the code.

"Let me in you punk, let me in, erm hold on, what you doing in here ?". 

You know how fat kids like to have their cake and eat it too. In most cases this is what it is. A woman meets the right man but is left as a link because she met him at the wrong time. She may tick a lot of boxes like a drug dealer and look like some good food but if he isn’t ready to settle down, you're gonna be sitting on that shelf for a long time. Ask the Lox’s, they know how that feels.

Now there are two kinds of girls, the one mentioned above, she is wifey material, if he wasn't playing games and ready to settle down he would actually make her the one and bring her into the matrix but he is a freeman right now but because she is like 'look' backwards, he keeps her in his circle.

Then there is the other girl who is just fooling herself. She is used to getting chatted up by men of his calibre, she is used to getting Sheba stroked by men of such stature so she now has an appetency for those men and thinks that in-kind  they
 will want to settle down with her. I beg, please climb off your low donkey. You, my dear friend, are suffering from delusions of grandeur. Unfortunately as @enigmakelly was tweeting the other day most of us lads do have a grading system. So if you don’t make that grading system, you will never reach the accolade of wifey. So please enjoy your time in the Gm Vauxhall Conference.

You can have the awful truth or a beautiful lie. It is what it is.

As harsh as it seems, some of you ladies have guys who you would sleep with but never make hubby. Jada Pinkett is one of them. She knocked boots with Tupac but she knew who she Will make hubby, take note. It's crazy how the E.T's of this world are allowed to take the Lauren's of this world to London and knock them up. Well hey, she must have enjoyed his lollipop, forgot to put a rapper over the beat and now has to listen to him teaching her how to love.

Now some men will claim that they don’t want to make you wifey because they aren’t established yet. Now in some cases this may be true but in most cases it's just an excuse. All in all whatever spiel he reels off is just a tarted up form of dismissal. When a man finds a good thing, he holds unto it, unless he's sowing his royal oats and doesn't want a girl.

So Dear Rob, How Does One Avoid Being Put On Layaway? I’m Not a Pair Of Red Bottoms?

First things first, I keep saying it again and again, learn to give men things in rations. If you’re going to cook me 3 square meals a day, bring me lunch, polish the TV and me why should I make you wifey? Why would I go for a contract when I am getting all the perks as PAYG? It is asinine to assume that a man would (yes there are exceptions to the rule). You bra-wearers love to call men dogs, well then treat us like dogs. You don’t give a dog all the treats in one go do you? You give them to the dog in rations, you reward the dog for the good it has done.

Around my way and with the lads I know: if you’re not his girl after 3 months of sex in 9/10 cases you’re just going to be that Cuban link, that girl that gets strung along. It is what it is. Cook him a meal once or twice, show him what you’re working with and then pause. Tie your hair in a bun; suck the life out of him and then pause. Show him you have the potential to give him this day in day out; then let him know what he needs to do to get it day in day out. If after 3 months he is not sure about what he wants from you, fall back. Hold back on to the treats and let him know what the deal is. You’re the one that let him into your heart, so you can’t call the police to cardiac arrest him. 

Please , listen to the song. :)

If he has been investing time in you, after 90 days of sex, he should recognise what it is he wants from you. 3 months of coochie unlicensed is long enough. I've known of girls who have been left in limbo for a year. Is your head correct? So you allowed a guy to string you along for that long? Please take a bus to billingsgate market, pick up the wettest Tilapia you can find and slap your lips with it. As stated earlier, this tends to happen when you've made a pact with yourself that this dude has to be your man, so therefore you overlook the BS he throws your way and try to hang in there like a pair a testees.
Yes, I appreciate some men will whisper sweet nothings in your ear but if these sweet nothings are not materialising it is for you to pick up your baggies and get the hell up out of that beatch. Stop putting all your eggs in one basket, yes I said it. Stop putting all your eggs in one basket. Stop acting like an ovary. Remember the ovum has to be at the right place and the right time for conception to take place. One has to look through the fallopian tube, if it doesn’t look like this journey you are taking is going to fertilise, feel free to semen other than him. If a man is not going to make you his girl, he has no right to treat you like Tubal Ligation and tie you down.

So if you want to avoid being Ms Justine Case,

1)    Learn to give men things in rations.

2)     Don’t say to yourself at the beginning that this must work, he has to be my man. It tends to impair one's vision.

3)     Keep your options open, he isn't your man.

4)     After 3 months of stroking the cat, hold back some treats and let him know if he wants the goodies, we need a title up in this beatch.

5) Ultimately, you need to speak up and ask what the back foot is going on, yeah you may be on the big side of life but you can't just accept everything he dishes out to you ;) .

But hey, I'm just looking for that pretty young thing that I can show another part of me, so that I can rock her world and beat it good.

After saying all of the above; if you’re looking for a man to complete you, you've missed the whole point.